you always told me you'd listen. but i guess i was never heard.

i really can't take it anymore and that's the perfect reason why i even bothered to talk to you about it. you don't understand that pure horror when that day comes. i really hate it and for one reason. I HAVE LOST INTEREST. not like i was ever interested in it, forced to take it up you see. you forced me to. and now you tell me i have to continue for the sake of the certificate. TWO MORE years. WOW. so that certificate's worth more than my freedom, my interests, my choice. FANTASTIC. pragmatic. SHIT. like COME ON, i'm fourteen. and you always tell people that "i don't give my children too much stress. i let them make their own choices." I'M SURE ABOUT THAT. and thanks for putting me off with a WONDERFUL WORD. "nonsense" . yeah so i was spouting nonsense all along, you weren't listening. guess i was simply wasting my freakin time. well so okay, i'll continue and see what comes out of it.
and don't you blame me if i break down one day.

yup, and thankyou jiaying for the sound advice. i appreciate it. really (: and so, after tears, it's time to move on. i'll try : D
but i really feel dumb crying over this. worth it? i think not. SHIT.