OH THIS IS CRAP!
this post was sparked off by miranda. i'm supposed to be doing my qing jing zuo wen now. but whatever!
September holidays are coming to an end. and that marks the start of term4. it's one LAST term. one MORE term. or should i say ONLY 1term to be with all your close friends-in the sense that we are in the same class. would we still be that close next year, no one can say. it'll surely put our friendship to test. but what can we do. besides sit back and watch the show. wait for time to do it's magic. or should i say show it's warth. ohwell.it's life isn't it. everytime when it's recess we'll all be sitting at the same table. arguing over the same little things. but that's what makes life interesting. and then we'll end up laughing at the stupid things we do again. soon, this will all become past tense. soon we won't even be able to find things to talk about. not to say ARGUE. and not like we can enjoy ourselves in this term. EOYs are pressing hard on us. time is just not enough. i came up with a freakin schedule but it isn't working at all! i know there are many many things that i ahve to do but i just can't bring myself to do it. sometimes i'm really angry with myself. i mean like. hello. the time i spend on the internet is like.ARGH.nevermind. deadlines i set for myself? nevermet. or rather RARElymet. there are just so many things sometimes i feel that i can't breathe. i mean like hello i'm only 14. some things are just too much for me to handle. but what can i do? i'll just have to face it. i know that running away doesn't solve problems and yet sometimes it's the only thing that you can do. when things are getting too much. running away might be a better solution than to face that problem, which you know that you can't solve. okay i know i'm contradicting myself but i'm really confused now. when you lay in bed at night, and you think about what has happened the whole day. there's bound to be stuff that you regret doing and you really hope that you could turn back time to save that situation.and yet you know that it's all impossible. you ask yourself why you did what you did in the first place. and all that answers you is but the deadly silence that surrounds you. and then what! what else. besides letting those tears flow. it doesn't solve problems but at least you get something off your chest. and then the next day you'll just have to put on that BRIGHT smile again when you know that deep inside you ain't feeling so. you'll LAUGH along, but that's only on the outer surface. looks are decieving, aren't they?
ohwell. it's life. it has to go on. correction: it does not HAVE to. but i want it to go on. at least i THINK i do. for the moment. but when everything comes crashing down once more. i don't know. let's leave it till that happens. i'll see bout what i'll do.
but life's nothing without friends! they brighten up your lives and you know. do stuff that make you laugh when you don't even feel like smiling.
meanwhile. i'll continue to be the HAPPY girl i'm supposed to be : D